Godzilla v Kong
This review is from April 5, 2021
I feel a bit silly calling this one a “film” review. Sure, some images moved around a screen for two hours, but there wasn’t much rhyme or reason to any of it.
First off, you can’t go into Godzilla v Kong and expect character drama– there’s no Aaron Sorkin dialogue here. That being said, there was even less dialogue and development then I would have imagined possible. None of the human storylines made much sense, and they were all very loosely tied together. Especially the story following the kid from Deadpool 2 and Millie Bobby Brown– I have no idea why that was included. Save for one incredibly dumb “saves the day” sequence that I predicted about ten minutes before it happened, I think you could have fast-forwarded through their entire subplot.
That gets me to the main gripe I have with the movie. Nothing was done with a purpose. There were a ton of low-angle shots, scenes with a cool sun flare, and intense conversations that were there for literally no reason. They didn’t advance the plot. They didn’t give viewers a new perspective. They were there simply to look cool in the trailer. Again, I didn’t expect a masterpiece, but at the very least the movie could have been well-made.
The one saving grace is that the fight scenes were pretty awesome. For a movie about two giant monsters fighting, the last twenty minutes lived up to its billing. I would have rather the first hour and fifteen minutes been summarized with a Star Wars-esque paragraph scroll in order to skip to the only good part, but it was a good fight. If you went into this movie expecting nothing but a big gorilla to fight a big lizard, then I guess you wouldn’t be disappointed.
In the end, I did enjoy myself. I laughed the entire way through, and with lots of popcorn and a viewer-established rule that we were allowed to talk the entire way through the film, it became an enjoyable watch party. Despite the overall positive viewing experience, I would still rank Godzilla v Kong as one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Here’s to the next one being even worse.
